now if you live in a city..or in the suburbs of a city, the question is
do you dream of living in a small town? there is such a romantic notion of what small town living is all about. i grew up in the suburbs of
los angeles and then lived in downtown
san francisco for 15 years. growing up in the suburbs of
los angeles in the 60's and 70's was a pretty mixed bag of experiences. on one hand, my parents were good friends with many of our neighbors and most weekends were spent having dinner at each other's homes, barbecues in the summer and spending vacations together at the beach or local mountains.... pretty normal sounding, right?...on the other hand, being so near to
los angeles meant the academy awards telecast was (still is) as big an event as the super bowl..and everyone there wants to be in show business..if not a star...for some people everything revolves around this dream and
show business is the business...i remember one time when i was just beginning my career i was touring retail stores with corporate executives from new york. we were stuck in traffic on the 405 freeway because the police had shut down a 5 mile stretch . there were news crews and media helicopters everywhere... later we found out that this was breaking news on all
tv/radio channels which interrupted regularly scheduled programming for most of the day. why you ask?....well,
larry hagman (remember him..j.r.
ewing from the
dallas t.v. show??) was in the hospital and they were airlifting a liver for him for a transplant...major news in southern
california.... the n.y executives were flabbergasted that this was considered a major, day long news story...at the time i did not even think it was unusual...scary...
now i live in
napa, a town with a population of 71,000. not tiny..but pretty small..and, because of the emphasis on agriculture...lots of open space and vineyards....has a rural feeling (at least to me) and this is what i dreamed of when longing to live in a small town. i know the people who live on my street...and this never happened in
san francisco...and i consider my neighbors across the street good friends. unlike the suburbs....where all get-
togethers happen in backyards..and you do not talk to people you do not know...in my neighborhood we all have front porches... front porches are one of my favorite things...we sit on the porch and neighbors, visitors and tourists (due to the many b&
b's in the neighborhood) walk by all day..they stop and say hello, play with
mose and just "visit"... a true sense of belonging..the daily newspaper emphasises local events, local businesses and local politics (more on that in another post). i can easily walk to main street to eat, shop, have a coffee, have my hair cut etc..and most people here are just nice..no other
word for it..there is loads of passion and discourse between the long time
napa residents who tend to resist rapid change here and the more recent arrivals that are more accepting of "progress" and growth. community meetings are quite lively..but you get the sense that everyone really cares. my hope is that the open dialogue and opportunities to vocalize opinions will lead to effective solutions.
i went to the market the other day..ran into two friends...stopped and chatted..a totally new experience running into people i know in the grocery store..never happened in
san francisco..never ran into anyone i knew there...could always feel pretty anonymous...not here. as i was leaving the store i ran into another friend..the president of the board of directors for habitat for humanity. we discussed a few board issues and covered off a couple outstanding items. he also moved to
napa within the past few years..and he emailed me later saying how cool it was to live in a place small enough to run into friends, colleagues and neighbors while out doing errands, walking the dog or going out to eat. i realized that i too really enjoy living in a place where a sense of belonging is a way of life...i really love it here. (although i still cannot miss an academy award telecast)
please share your stories of small town living (or suburbs living, or city living) in the comments section of this post. as always, i love your stories..
best,
napa farmhouse1885
two weeks ago there were fires in southern california raging out of control. this photo was taken from the main street of a small town called sierra madre, ca. the town is next door to the town of pasadena where i was born. i have relatives living throughout the area..this photo was sent to me by an uncle who lives just a few blocks from where this was taken..scary and... .oddly..beautiful. the photo is a bit blurry..but was taken from a camera phone....happily, there was damage to only one outbuilding..no homes, businesses..or more importantly..people were hurt. the photo reminded me of the numerous natural disasters i have lived through..and what those experiences do to your psyche. when i was growing up..we lived in the foothills of the san gabriel mountains. really beautiful..but a fire danger most years. southern california experiences something called the "santa ana winds". this usually occurs during september and october each year. the weather is still pretty hot, and when the santa ana's occur the wind blows from east to west. normally it goes the other direction and ..blowing from the west..you get the ocean breezes to help cool things down. the santa ana's are strong, swirling, and blow really hot air. if you are not from southern california it is hard to imagine what this does..but historically fires start, rage out of control and massive damage occurs. i have many memories as a child of watching fires near our house..being on the roof with my dad hosing it down..smelling the fire and breathing in the bits of burned char swirling around in the hot breezes and preparing to evacuate... a number of times we were ordered to leave..and there was nothing scarier for a kid than to be in the family station wagon with your mom, dad, 2 sisters and the family dog..and whatever possessions would fit..driving away not knowing if your home would be there upon your return. thank god..it always was there..and we were always o.k.
today was a perfect day..one of those days where....right in the middle of the day..i realized how happy and grateful i am to be "retired." why the quotes? retired is a funny word to describe my life. remember in one of my first posts i told you that after 25 years in corporate life i decided to take early, early retirement? i smile because it is not as if i get retirement benefits..i was too young to qualify when i stopped working. but my husband and i invested, saved and realized that we had enough to live on..now we certainly are not rich..but we just did not require more "stuff" and would rather be together than keep working to climb the corporate ladder..we just could not see the pay-off for us..and for our life. the funny thing is i am now starting my own very small business..just cause i want to...but this is totally different. for one thing..i am the boss..can i tell you how cool it is to say that? no one but no one can tell me what i should be doing..what i should be thinking...how i should behave..etc. all the "coaching" and "performance reviews" corporate life brings..yuck! and i can set the vision and mission and product assortment exactly the way i see it in my mind.."my brand"...now, on the other hand..my company is based in my kitchen...i have not yet opened the on-line store so no revenue..and i have no "people" so i do it all myself..but i am having a ball. i plan to write about starting a small business in another post..wow! what an education. how many of you work from home..or have started your own small business? what works for you? what doesn't?
so, to avoid the rose diseases, it is important to keep them pruned enough to allow sunlight to hit all the leaves..at least this works for me. i noticed this morning that they were a bit overgrown and needed pruning and decided this afternoon was a perfect opportunity. i started pruning, mose sat next to me and moved each time i moved to a different bush..and before i realized it..4 hours had passed. you know what, i felt fantastic..relaxed, pleasantly tired, and really happy. i had been concentrating on the pruning..ensuring each cut was the correct cut..and just kinda zoned out. the roses looked great, i had come up with a number of ideas for the business, and i felt really good. i realized that this was one of the first times i had experienced gardening without a predetermined time frame. prior to retiring my life looked like this.... leave napa early monday morning and drive to my office in san francisco. stay in the city, away from my family, monday-wednesday night, work thursday until really late and then drive back to napa... work from napa on friday. this happened on the rare weeks that i did not fly out on monday morning on a business trip and return friday night. that meant that something like gardening had to be completed on the weekends..along with everything else..so i always was on a schedule..even on the weekends. i enjoyed gardening, but felt the pressure to "just get it done". today..no pressure.. i only finished half the roses but..no worries..i can finish tomorrow..or saturday..or whenever i want. i have never, ever been able to live this way. it just felt right to acknowledge how grateful i am for being able to enjoy everyday things like cooking, gardening, exercise, walking the dog..living a real life... and to commit even more to ensuring there is adequate time in my life to give back..and give thanks..for my life, my family, my friends, my faith...
can you sing well? i cannot..i have the world's worst voice..no really..it is bad..really bad. when i was a kid i would sing all the time..one day, when i was about 8..my uncle looked at me and said..."you have the world's worst voice. no one in this family can sing, but your voice is the worst!" now on paper this sounds kinda mean..actually this uncle is one of the nicest and kindest people i know. this was said with love and humor..and has remained a family joke for years. the comment..and subsequent joking has taken its toll...i can not sing in public. now by in public..i do not mean in front of an audience...i mean i literally cannot sing in front of anyone but my husband..poor man..or my nephews when they were babies. in situations where people must sing..christmas carols or happy birthday for example...i do this weird whisper lip sync thing where it looks like i am singing...but no sound actually comes out. this is not by design...i try to sing..just cannot do it... when i am home alone, or in my car...i sing at the top of my lungs..even i know it sounds horrible but i am alone so who cares? one day when my nephews were toddlers i flew down to southern california to spend a weekend with them. my sister picked me up at the airport in her van and the boys were in car seats in the backseat. i opened the door to put my bag in back..their eyes lit up..they started smiling and laughing like mad and gestured for "auntie" to sit in the back with them smushed between the two car seats. the three of us started singing songs like wheels on the bus and itsy bitsy spider at the top of our lungs. all of a sudden my sister joined in and immediately the boys yelled "no mommy..no sing..only auntie!!" one of the happiest moments of my life..i actually had fans of my voice!!..ok they were two yrs old..but still..fans. my sister thought it was hilarious but remember..the entire family has horrible voices and.. i fear..the boys inherited the singing genes from our side..not their dad's..too bad for them.
